The Four Things Every Place You Love Has in Common
Why your favorite spots aren't random
Why do you sometimes walk into a completely new place and immediately feel like you belong? What creates that instant “yes, I’m digging this pace” versus that subtle wrongness that makes you want to escape?
About six months into living on the road, I started mapping this phenomenon. I could predict which local places would become my regular spots within five minutes of walking in. I might be staying in town a week or a month, but if it was my kinda place, I would make an effort to spend as much time there as possible.
Turns out, I wasn't just being picky. I was unconsciously seeking what I now call Power Places.
The Accidental Discovery
This revelation started during what my husband calls my “European Ambition Tour.” Seven days, five countries, a new stop every night. I'd planned every sight, restaurant, and tour down to the minute. Yes, we had itineraries. Plural. I was bound to make the most of every moment of the few precious days we had to train-travel it across Europe.
How was it? Exhausting. Overwhelming. But by god, we were going to see it all.
Today, we don't remember most of the places. In fact, the duds are rising to the surface as I type this.
The Research Project He Saw Coming
So, years later, when I started plotting out our RV travels across the US, he sat me down for a heart-to-heart. NO MORE seeing all the sights as fast as we could.
Maybe age mellowed us, but I really knew I needed to stop measuring accomplishment by how much I could cram into our schedule.
Instead, I put my obsessive self to work listing every US place that had ever made me feel truly alive. My kitchen counter looked like less inspiration and more evidence board—photos, journal entries, sticky notes everywhere.
My husband walked in: “Please tell me you're not turning our lifelong dream into a research project.”
Too late.
And I’d like to report we’ve now visited pretty much all of them. I was so excited to share them with him. But, I’m sure you see where this is going. Yep, he didn’t feel the same excitement. And honestly, some weren’t what I remembered. That's when seeing the patterns in what we each craved truly took shape.
The Four Pillars That Keep Showing Up
You think I'm going to mention four mysterious pillars and then just… stop? Please. So here's the breakdown: four pillars, eight personality stamps, endless ‘aha’ moments. I'm keeping it high-level for now because nobody wants a dissertation in their inbox. Besides, the deep dive comes later when you're properly hooked.
Pillar 1: Connection & Community
Places where you belong before you even know anyone
These are spaces alive with human energy, not the overwhelming kind, but the warm, "everyone's invited to this party" kind. Think farmers' markets where vendors remember your face and that old train station that’s now your favorite restaurant.
Power Place example: That little café in Paris where the owner started saving you croissants after day two, and that Savannah ghost tour you’ve been on more than once.
At home: Your kitchen during dinner parties, vintage clothing shops, that historic B&B you love driving by, or even your front porch where neighbors actually stop to chat.
Pillar 2: Growth & Transformation
Places that lend to your evolution
These places seem designed to crack you open in the best possible way. They challenge you, heal you, or help you remember who you're becoming. These aren't necessarily comfortable places. They're often places where transformation feels possible.
Power Place example: That clifftop retreat in Big Sur where you perfected your favorite breathing techniques, or Sedona where you soaked up that red rock energy.
At home: Your home creative projects space, the yoga studio when you get down a new pose, or your shower where all the best ideas happen (shower wisdom is real, people).
Pillar 3: Adventure & Exploration
Places that wake up your sense of wonder
Whether it's a river rafting trip or Tacofest, these places remind you that the world is vast and full of surprises. They could be ziplines that test your limits or hidden gems that you give a try.
Power Place example: That Olympic Peninsula rainforest where you pushed yourself to go one more mile, or the New Orleans Jazz Festival where you got lost and loved it.
At home: Your local walking path where seasons change everything, the part of town you're still exploring, or even your garden where something's always growing or surprising you.
Pillar 4: Knowledge & Experience
Places that feed your curiosity and senses
These are destinations for your mind and all your senses. They likely teach you something new, challenge your perspective, or simply delight. They range from intellectually stimulating to purely beautiful.
Power Place example: Taking in the blue-domed churches in Santorini at sunset, exploring Kilkenny Castle until you knew every restored Victorian room by heart.
At home: Your reading nook with perfect lighting, the art district you love wandering, or that one restaurant where you try a new dish every time.
Why Knowing Your Travel Self Matters
Here's what I've realized from years of watching people (including myself) struggle with travel disappointment and daily burnout: we're seeking some form of these pillars everywhere, but we rarely know what we are actually looking for.
So don’t be the “need a vacation from your vacation” person who comes back more exhausted than when you left.
The magic happens when you start intentionally seeking out the places that I really hope these pillars and personality stamps help you discover.
One more thing…
The YOUR Places stamp that calls to you may change. Sometimes you're a Growth & Transformation seeker. Other times, you desperately need Connection & Community. The goal isn't to pick one stamp forever—it's to know which one your soul is craving right now.
What places make you feel most alive? I'd love to hear about your Power Places and which stamp you most align with. I'm always on the lookout for what makes places magical.
This was a unique perspective on travel. I've traveled, a lot (worldwide and some remote places). Think I connect most with places that spark my sense of wonder. Well written! Thanks for a great read.
That's a neat framework to think about. I've definitely felt what I am looking for shift as I've gone along, as you have, from the FOMO to a more focused & relaxed exploration. It's also moved from wanting to see lots of buildings to wanting to sample food and fashion and wanting to see more natural beauty (some of that is $$ related too!).